And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
