who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
