Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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