Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
