you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
