If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
