I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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