69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
