If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
