At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
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