if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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