that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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