Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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