It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
