You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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