we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Shitshow foam night was such a success
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
