i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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