I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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