I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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