It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
