HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
