Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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