Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
