she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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