on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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