found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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