So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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