Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dignity is for republicans.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
