at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
