my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Help. Why am I so naked?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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