At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
