so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
