who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
