I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
