My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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