...so i touched it.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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