'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
