Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
