is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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