So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
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