i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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