I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
