i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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