You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize