Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
