If i come over, it means nothing
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Enjoy the penises
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
