It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
