I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
