I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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