don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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